Can you hold space for someone?

For a while now, I've been thinking about the concept of 'holding space' for someone. This is the kind of space one creates when you choose to walk alongside or stand in for another person. My curiosity was sparked by an article that I read about the topic and I thought it would be interesting to explore the importance of implementing this as a way of living. 

The idea of creating space for, or sharing space with someone is not something new to me, I have just never heard it put that way. Holding space for someone. I liked the idea.

In the article the author wrote about how their family had someone who comforted them while her mother was dying, helping them cope whilst they in turn were carrying their mother during her battle with cancer. Supporting each other whilst things were dark and difficult. Holding space for one another.

I wondered how one should view this concept, from a Christian perspective. I turned to the back of my Bible to find reference to the word 'space'. There was none. So I asked myself the question - in the context of 'holding space' for someone, what word would come closest?

It seemed to me that the word 'time' would be pretty close. Sharing your space and your time on this earth by engaging mindfully with someone else and thus investing in their life, sounded like a match to me. Different words, same meaning.

The more I thought about it, the more I became convinced that this way of life is not an option or a mere suggestion. It sounded like a  definite instruction, something that we are meant to live by.

Ponder upon this:

'This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.' - John 15:12 (NKJV)

'Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." - Philippians 2:4 (NKJV)

'Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.' - Galatians 6:2 (NKJV)

It seems very clear.

Those three verses pretty much sum it up for me. We cannot selfishly live in our own space all of the time, we are called to hold space for others, especially if they are struggling. How do we do this, I wondered, when at times our own burdens weigh heavy.

If we are to do this successfully, our intentions have to be real and what we offer in the attempt to help, has to come from hearts that have fully surrendered to God's will.

I remembered the words of 1 Chronicles 28:9 (NKJV): '... for the Lord searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will be found by you..."

It became clear to me that if we are to walk alongside others in an authentic way, the work has to start within ourselves first. Finding one's core, surrendering and bringing it in line with the teachings above, seems to be a good place to start.

Understanding the will of God involves studying the Word, developing a dialogue with the Lord in the form of prayer and constant reflection on what we discover on this journey. These are the tools I believe the Lord has provided so that we won't be lost in a world that can be indescribably difficult to navigate at times.

It is important to test things we are confronted with, especially when reaching out to others. Asking ourselves whose nature is reflected in a behaviour or an issue, is wise. Is it good, is it pure, or is it just the opposite. It stands to reason that if one truly studies the Word of God, recognizing the nature of our Heavenly Father will become second nature.

Remember that what you choose to hold on to, is what you will pass on. Sharing space thus comes with a huge responsibility. The heavier our own burdens are, the more difficult it will be to encourage those we hope to support. Letting go of our burdens is something that we have to work hard at if we are to walk alongside others in an encouraging capacity.

Again I turned to the Scriptures and the words that the Lord spoke in Luke 4:18 reassured me.

'He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, 
To proclaim liberty to the captives...' (NKJV)

Confirmation that burdens don't have the authority to keep us captive! Can I encourage you to believe and hold on to this?

Today I encountered a group of supermarket employees in a mall, protesting against the spate of violence that has erupted in our country against women and children. If you live in South Africa, you will know all about the rapes, murders and other horrors that countless women and children are subjected to on a daily basis. It is beyond horrific and totally out of control. People have been protesting all over the country. I asked if I could take a photograph of the group in the mall and they immediately agreed and invited me to join them. So, just like that and totally unplanned, I found myself surrounded by strangers, holding a placard, pleading for a safer world to live in.

On the day I decided to write about holding space for others. How appropriate.

Once again I am reminded that if we step into a life of surrendering to God's will for us, these things will happen all the time. Confirmation after confirmation. 

Holding hands with someone while we navigate this world together. Filling our backpacks with discernment and being available and willing to carry the load for someone else when coping becomes hard for them.

That feels right to me.